I am always in one of two opposite states of mind lately: either I am completely at peace with still being pregnant, or I am impatiently frustrated that the baby isn't here yet. Tomorrow the little one will be full term at forty weeks; while I'm not counting on him/her coming on the due date, every day is still full of anticipation that it might be THE birth-day. Keeping myself occupied with small tasks, relaxing hobbies, and everyday routines is the best way to not worry about the baby coming or not.
As I was reading through the Psalms last night, a particular passage from Psalm 71 leaped to my attention.
For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.
Upon you I have leaned from before my birth;
you are He who took me from my mother's womb.
My praise is continually of you.
While certainly making use of poetic language, these verses make me ponder God's incredible plans that He has for us. What joy there is in trusting the God who cared for me even before I was born!
86. A dining room table from a garage sale, big enough to seat guests finally
87. Witnessing God's powerful mercy working in a man's life at church
88. Surprise of extra money coming from an unexpected lottery ticket; God works in mysterious ways
89. The blessing of being a two-car family
90. Dried herbs sweet-smelling
91. An entire day spent with Chris
92. Wonderful books and dvds to rent at the local library
93. Em getting a job within a few days of job-searching
94. Tasty pregnancy tea (iced) from Cheryl's Herbs
95. Our church beginning a summer of memorizing Scripture together
96. Extra hours at work for Chris when his schedule is sparse
97. Evening walks with Chris in the cool almost-night air
98. Watching a documentary about Michelangelo with church friends
99. Beanbag pillow making our bed mattress more comfy, as pregnancy makes sleeping difficult
100. New baby raccoon visiting my patio!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Coming to Rest in "Mystery"
Most people like a good mystery. At least in stories or movies, as long as the mystery has a definite solution to provide closure and satisfaction at the end. But what about real life mystery? What about the kinds of mystery that involve our own lives, the mysterious questions of "who am I", "what is my purpose", "why do these things happen to me"? Even deeper than that is the question "is there Someone out there who has planned these Mysteries, and knows the answers to them"?
I've been pondering "mystery" this week. Our church has been meditating on the first fourteen verses of Ephesians, with verses nine and ten being used as a passage for memorization:
"In all wisdom and insight God has made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth."
It's a relief to realize that some things are MEANT to be a mystery, because in spite of my imperfections and mistakes and confusion, God has a purpose for all things in His perfect wisdom. Even if I can't understand all the ups and downs of my life, there is comfort knowing that "for all those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."
71. Surprise gift card from grandparents
72. Learning to focus on the sweetness of my blessings by deliberately choosing gratitude over resentment in the tough places
73. The love of my Heavenly Father
74. Five bottles of my favorite barbecue sauce on sale for less than a dollar each
75. Finding a surprise stash of yarn for sock-knitting that I'd forgotten about
76. Date night with Chris seeing Shakespeare in the Park: Othello
77. Rainstorm cooling the air
78. Bedroom organized and rearranged, with bassinet all ready
79. Midwife visiting our apartment for my prenatal appointment
80. Raccoon friends from the forest
81. Messages of reassurance from God when I lie sleepless
82. Alec's beautiful guitar playing at the benefit concert
83. Fresh vegetables at the Soulard Farmer's Market
84. Good wishes from everyone for my and the baby's health
85. Chris's employee discount card at the grocery store
I've been pondering "mystery" this week. Our church has been meditating on the first fourteen verses of Ephesians, with verses nine and ten being used as a passage for memorization:
"In all wisdom and insight God has made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth."
It's a relief to realize that some things are MEANT to be a mystery, because in spite of my imperfections and mistakes and confusion, God has a purpose for all things in His perfect wisdom. Even if I can't understand all the ups and downs of my life, there is comfort knowing that "for all those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."
71. Surprise gift card from grandparents
72. Learning to focus on the sweetness of my blessings by deliberately choosing gratitude over resentment in the tough places
73. The love of my Heavenly Father
74. Five bottles of my favorite barbecue sauce on sale for less than a dollar each
75. Finding a surprise stash of yarn for sock-knitting that I'd forgotten about
76. Date night with Chris seeing Shakespeare in the Park: Othello
77. Rainstorm cooling the air
78. Bedroom organized and rearranged, with bassinet all ready
79. Midwife visiting our apartment for my prenatal appointment
80. Raccoon friends from the forest
81. Messages of reassurance from God when I lie sleepless
82. Alec's beautiful guitar playing at the benefit concert
83. Fresh vegetables at the Soulard Farmer's Market
84. Good wishes from everyone for my and the baby's health
85. Chris's employee discount card at the grocery store
Sunday, June 3, 2012
With Thanksgiving
I've been meditating on the book of Philippians lately. Two passages have been standing out from chapter four. Here is the first:
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.
Reasonableness can also be translated to mean "gentleness", being "considerate in all you do", "gentle spirit", "moderation", "gracious attitude", "humility", "fairness", "modesty", or "forbearance". I don't see much of those virtues in myself, partly due to my stubborn personality and partly because I have not made it a priority to submit my will and desires to the Holy Spirit, who has been given for my edification. I've been pondering a lot what it might mean in different areas of my life to be reasonable, especially in my interactions with others.
Here is the second passage that has resonated with me:
The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Again the emphasis on giving thanks is making an impact on my heart. How often I approach God simply with petitions or even demands for what I think is best. Yet that's not the way our prayer relationship with God is designed to be: prayer and supplication WITH THANKSGIVING. And from that position of thankfulness to proceed into worship, communion, application, pleas for mercy, wisdom, truth, and much, much more.
56. Final medical tests for prenatal care coming back clear
57. Lavender plants blooming
58. My eyes open to seeing and rejoicing over many blessings
59. Dress shirts that actually fit Chris at the Burlington Coat Factory
60. Surprise mixed CD of music from a fellow blogger I've never met
61. Our church's talented music director
62. Hearing one of my favorite British musicians on the radio in the car
63. Second knitted baby sweater complete
64. Singing thankfulness for God's blessings at small group
65. My mother joining me in the capturing of one thousand gifts
67. Delicious new baked beans recipe
68. Little girl's silly faces
69. Back issues of Real Simple magazine given free by a friend
70. Knowing that I am deeply loved not only by my family, but also by Chris's entire family
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.
Reasonableness can also be translated to mean "gentleness", being "considerate in all you do", "gentle spirit", "moderation", "gracious attitude", "humility", "fairness", "modesty", or "forbearance". I don't see much of those virtues in myself, partly due to my stubborn personality and partly because I have not made it a priority to submit my will and desires to the Holy Spirit, who has been given for my edification. I've been pondering a lot what it might mean in different areas of my life to be reasonable, especially in my interactions with others.
Here is the second passage that has resonated with me:
The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Again the emphasis on giving thanks is making an impact on my heart. How often I approach God simply with petitions or even demands for what I think is best. Yet that's not the way our prayer relationship with God is designed to be: prayer and supplication WITH THANKSGIVING. And from that position of thankfulness to proceed into worship, communion, application, pleas for mercy, wisdom, truth, and much, much more.
56. Final medical tests for prenatal care coming back clear
57. Lavender plants blooming
58. My eyes open to seeing and rejoicing over many blessings
59. Dress shirts that actually fit Chris at the Burlington Coat Factory
60. Surprise mixed CD of music from a fellow blogger I've never met
61. Our church's talented music director
62. Hearing one of my favorite British musicians on the radio in the car
63. Second knitted baby sweater complete
64. Singing thankfulness for God's blessings at small group
65. My mother joining me in the capturing of one thousand gifts
67. Delicious new baked beans recipe
68. Little girl's silly faces
69. Back issues of Real Simple magazine given free by a friend
70. Knowing that I am deeply loved not only by my family, but also by Chris's entire family
Monday, May 28, 2012
Expanding My View
It's funny that Heather wrote of her gratitude list this week seeming centered around her senses, especially food. I was going to write the exact same thing about my list! Once I noticed that many of my blessings were food-related, I tried to expand my vision a bit. Food is lovely and wonderful (especially when I'm pregnant) but there are definitely more things to be thankful for.
After completing my final week of teaching, it was hard not to write "MATERNITY LEAVE, SO GRATEFUL!!!!" over and over in my gratitude journal! I really love being a music teacher, but these past few weeks have been exhausting. I am definitely ready for a break as I prepare for and enter the transition into motherhood.
The Psalms have been drawing me in lately. They make a huge connection between seeing God's character better and falling into praise and thanksgiving because of it. What a beautiful cycle: I call upon the Lord, find anew that God is truly good, glorify Him in gratefulness, draw closer to Him in love... call upon the Lord, find anew that God is good, glorify Him in gratefulness, draw closer in love...
O Lord, I am your servant... you have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving
and call upon the name of the Lord.
I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people,
in the courts of the house of the Lord, in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the Lord!
~ Psalm 116:16-19
41. Green knitted class cozy
42. Handmade bracelets from a sweet student
43. Internet access right in my own home
44. The neighbors strumming guitar and singing on their porch
45. Blue and brown yarn on my knitting needles
46. New clover blooming in the grass
47. Thank-you notes to write
48. Five seasons of the Antiques Road Show for free online
49. Parking underneath shade trees in hot temperatures
50. Mother sparrows feeding their babies at our feeder
51. Crunchy apples to satisfy my fresh fruit craving
52. June, July, and August of no teaching!
53. Books on tape gifted for the Little One; memories from my childhood re-awakened
54. Home-made strawberry smoothie for breakfast
55. Comfy brown skirt that fits no matter how big my tummy gets
After completing my final week of teaching, it was hard not to write "MATERNITY LEAVE, SO GRATEFUL!!!!" over and over in my gratitude journal! I really love being a music teacher, but these past few weeks have been exhausting. I am definitely ready for a break as I prepare for and enter the transition into motherhood.
The Psalms have been drawing me in lately. They make a huge connection between seeing God's character better and falling into praise and thanksgiving because of it. What a beautiful cycle: I call upon the Lord, find anew that God is truly good, glorify Him in gratefulness, draw closer to Him in love... call upon the Lord, find anew that God is good, glorify Him in gratefulness, draw closer in love...
O Lord, I am your servant... you have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving
and call upon the name of the Lord.
I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people,
in the courts of the house of the Lord, in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the Lord!
~ Psalm 116:16-19
41. Green knitted class cozy
42. Handmade bracelets from a sweet student
43. Internet access right in my own home
44. The neighbors strumming guitar and singing on their porch
45. Blue and brown yarn on my knitting needles
46. New clover blooming in the grass
47. Thank-you notes to write
48. Five seasons of the Antiques Road Show for free online
49. Parking underneath shade trees in hot temperatures
50. Mother sparrows feeding their babies at our feeder
51. Crunchy apples to satisfy my fresh fruit craving
52. June, July, and August of no teaching!
53. Books on tape gifted for the Little One; memories from my childhood re-awakened
54. Home-made strawberry smoothie for breakfast
55. Comfy brown skirt that fits no matter how big my tummy gets
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Taste and See that the LORD is Good
It seems like a lot of my list this week was centered around my senses, especially food. There is a sense in which too much of my life is centered around food, or around my own desires, my wants and whims. So, I've been thinking about the idea of self-denial, of blinking the sleep from my eyes in order to see better what has already been given. Maybe even to see what I am lacking and must open my hands for the Father to fill. Yet, I also see here little tastes of what is good and beautiful... of God's greatness, goodness and generosity to our creature-ness...
...a glass of wine at the end of a hard day...
...the spicy smell of basil plants...
...thirty-six years of my family (Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!)...
...the sharp bite of crunchy gingersnaps, memories of my Mimi...
...opening a new book...
...the spicy heat of salsa and pork...
...giving good gifts to dear friends...
...a good movie late on a Friday night...
...morning coffee with Lyssa, excitement for Pip's arrival...
...walking long distances again after resting my sore knee for many weeks...
...His body and blood are real yet spiritual gifts, the mystery of His table...
...encouragement to prepare for difficulty, to to grow strong in the Lord...
...rest...
...the smell of apricots ripening...
...God's Word, the power of life and death, resting in my hands...
...the smell of freshly baked chocolate cake...
...a glass of wine at the end of a hard day...
...the spicy smell of basil plants...
...thirty-six years of my family (Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!)...
...the sharp bite of crunchy gingersnaps, memories of my Mimi...
...opening a new book...
...the spicy heat of salsa and pork...
...giving good gifts to dear friends...
...a good movie late on a Friday night...
...morning coffee with Lyssa, excitement for Pip's arrival...
...walking long distances again after resting my sore knee for many weeks...
...His body and blood are real yet spiritual gifts, the mystery of His table...
...encouragement to prepare for difficulty, to to grow strong in the Lord...
...rest...
...the smell of apricots ripening...
...God's Word, the power of life and death, resting in my hands...
...the smell of freshly baked chocolate cake...
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Renewing My Strength
Even after reading a review that expressed several hesitancies about Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts", I still believe that there have been more benefits than detriments in following her journey, at least for me. The best and foremost thing that has come from reading her book is my increasing awareness of how very much I am blessed every day. Always keeping on the lookout for what I can give thanks turns me towards the One Who Blesses. As a result, I am more drawn to pursue my relationship with Him. I want to see His goodness and love in all of my life, not just at church on Sunday morning or when I'm reading my Bible or when I'm feeling particularly "holy". What a joy to see God's hand in the little and the large!
My life right now is full of good things. Cultivating a life of gratitude is one of the many ways the Shepherd can use to gently lead me in paths of grace when times get rough, as I know they will at some future point. Nobody's existence is perfect or easy. I thank the Lord for the times of peace, though, when He renews my strength with blessings.
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall.
But those who wait for the Lord will renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles;
They shall run and not grow weary;
They shall walk and not faint.
~ Isaiah 40:28-31
26. Our first printer/copier machine
27. Frozen York Peppermint Patties
28. Basil growing in my herb pots
29. Husband studying the book of Joshua at the men's group
30. Guitar ensemble's final concert of the season at the retirement community
31. Clear notes from the mandolin
32. Baby birds singing to be fed in their nests
33. Air conditioning in the car
34. Happy dreams about the baby
35. Not having to set a wake-up alarm
36. Pancakes with boysenberry syrup
37. Last week of teaching before maternity leave begins
38. Conversation with my love during breakfast
39. The blessing of memorized Scripture
40. Friendly dog at Starbucks
Friday, May 18, 2012
The Little Things
Thankfulness for unexpected and mundane things this week...
... the feeling of completion and contribution at the end of a work week...
... the dappled and speckled red, orange, and yellows of a fresh peach...
... clean water to drink, ice water to quench deep thirst...
... sharing yard work with my dad in the dusky evening...
... a sweet gift of local honey and a hand-knit jar cozy to cover the jar (I'll drink my water and honey-tea from the jar once it's empty)...
... the feeling of completion and contribution at the end of a work week...
... the dappled and speckled red, orange, and yellows of a fresh peach...
... clean water to drink, ice water to quench deep thirst...
... sharing yard work with my dad in the dusky evening...
... a sweet gift of local honey and a hand-knit jar cozy to cover the jar (I'll drink my water and honey-tea from the jar once it's empty)...
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